Small Acts of Kindness: What Research Says About Doing Good and Feeling Good
Doing small kind things for others may give your own mood a gentle lift. Here is what studies with adults and kids found, and why the effects are modest.
Kenji often stays late at the office. Most nights, the only other person on his floor is the janitor, an older man who hums while he empties the bins. They nod at each other. They have never really talked. One evening, Kenji realized he had seen this man almost every night for a year and had never once said thank you. So the next night, he bought two coffees on his way back from dinner. He left one on the cleaning cart with a sticky note: “Thank you for taking care of this place. It doesn’t go unnoticed.” Then he went back to his desk, oddly nervous and oddly happy at the same time.
Kenji’s small gesture fits into a question researchers have been asking for years: does being kind to others change how we feel?
The happiness study that tested kindness
In 2005, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Kennon Sheldon, and David Schkade wrote a well-known paper in the Review of General Psychology about how people might raise their happiness in lasting ways. They argued that what we choose to do each day, our intentional activities, may play a meaningful role in how happy we feel.
In that paper, they described a study where students were asked to do five acts of kindness each week for six weeks. Some students did all five acts on a single day. Others spread them across the week.
The students who did all five on one day showed a boost in well-being. The students who spread them out did not show the same boost. The researchers suggested that small acts spread thinly may blend into normal life, while a cluster of them on one day might stand out more and feel more meaningful. This was one study, so it is a clue rather than a rule.
What happened with kids
In 2012, Kristin Layous and colleagues ran a study with 9- to 11-year-old students in Canada. For four weeks, some students were asked to do three acts of kindness each week. Others were asked to visit three places each week, like a park or a friend’s house.
Both groups showed gains in well-being over the four weeks. But the kindness group gained something extra. By the end, their classmates were more likely to say they wanted to spend time with them. In other words, being kind seemed to help these kids become more accepted by their peers.
The bigger picture: real but small
One study can be a fluke. So it helps to look at many studies together. In 2018, Oliver Curry and colleagues did just that. They combined the results of many experiments on acts of kindness in a meta-analysis, which is a study of studies.
They found that doing acts of kindness did tend to improve the well-being of the person being kind. But the effect was small to medium in size. The authors also noted that many of the studies had limits, and they called for more careful research. That is an honest picture. Kindness seems to help a little, on average, and we are still learning how much and for whom.
What this can and cannot do
Kindness is a good thing to do for its own sake. The research suggests it may also lift your mood a bit. But it is not a cure for sadness, stress, or loneliness. If you are struggling with how you feel, please talk to someone you trust or a professional. Being kind to others can sit alongside that care.
It is also worth saying that kindness should not become another chore or a way to prove you are a good person. You do not owe anyone constant giving, and caring for yourself counts too.
Try it
- Pick a kindness day. Based on the 2005 study, try choosing one day this week to do a few small kind acts, instead of spreading them out.
- Keep it small. Hold a door, send a thank-you text, share a snack, or leave a note. Small acts are enough.
- Notice the people in the background. Think about who helps your day run smoothly but rarely gets thanked. A cleaner, a bus driver, a school cook.
- Mix it up. Doing the same thing every time may start to feel routine. Try something new now and then.
- Write it down. At the end of the day, write a line about what you did and how it felt. It helps you notice the good you put into the world.
The next night
When Kenji walked past the cleaning cart the next evening, the coffee cup was gone. In its place was his sticky note, with a new line written under his: “Thank you. Nobody has done that before.” Kenji kept the note. He did not expect a small coffee to matter that much, to either of them. If you would like a gentle place to remember moments like this, NOTETYPE lets you write a thought and press “Make it real” to see doodles bloom around your words, all kept private on your device.
Sources
- Curry, O. S., Rowland, L. A., Van Lissa, C. J., Zlotowitz, S., McAlaney, J., & Whitehouse, H. (2018). Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 76, 320–329.
- Layous, K., Nelson, S. K., Oberle, E., Schonert-Reichl, K. A., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2012). Kindness counts: Prompting prosocial behavior in preadolescents boosts peer acceptance and well-being. PLoS ONE, 7(12), e51380.
- Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111–131.
