Quiet or Outgoing, You Can Journal: Finding the Way That Fits You
Some people like to write alone, and some like to share good news out loud. Research suggests the best habit is the one that fits you. Here is how to find it.
Noah likes the hour after everyone else has gone to sleep. The apartment is quiet, the lamp is low, and he writes a few lines about his day. Tonight it was the old man at the bakery who remembered his order. He did not tell anyone. He did not need to. His friend Zara is the opposite. When something good happens, she grabs her phone and tells three friends before she even sits down, her curly hair bouncing as she laughs at their replies. When Noah once told her about his journal, she said, “I could never do that. I’m not a writing-alone kind of person.” Noah wasn’t so sure she was right.
Noah and Zara are very different people. But the research suggests they may both get something out of the same basic idea: paying attention to the good things in their lives.
One habit, many ways to do it
In 2013, psychologists Sonja Lyubomirsky and Kristin Layous wrote a review called “How do simple positive activities increase well-being?” They looked at small, everyday practices, like writing about things you are grateful for or doing kind acts for others, and asked why these sometimes help and sometimes do not.
Their answer had two parts. First, the activity itself matters. How often you do it, whether you mix things up, and whether other people are involved can all make a difference. Second, the person matters too. Things like how motivated you are, how much effort you put in, and what kind of person you are can shape how well an activity works for you.
They called the match between these two parts “person-activity fit.” The basic idea is simple. A practice that feels natural to you is more likely to stick, and a practice you keep doing is more likely to help.
So the question for Noah and Zara is not “Should I journal?” It is “What kind of noticing fits me?”
Why sharing good news can help
Zara’s habit of telling friends her good news has its own research behind it. In 2004, Shelly Gable, Harry Reis, Emily Impett, and Evan Asher published a set of studies on what they called “capitalization.” That is a fancy word for a simple thing: telling someone else when something good happens to you.
They found that on days when people shared their good news with others, they tended to report more positive feelings and feel better about life, beyond what the good event itself seemed to explain. How the listener responded mattered too. When the other person reacted with real interest and excitement, the benefits seemed larger, and the relationship itself tended to look stronger.
In plain words, saying the good thing out loud can make it feel bigger.
So which way is better?
Neither one. They are two paths to the same place. Noah’s quiet writing gives him a calm space to notice small moments that might slip by. Zara’s sharing lets her enjoy her good news again with people she cares about.
Many people are a mix. You might write alone most nights, then text a friend when something really great happens. Or you might share most things out loud, but keep a private page for the moments that feel too personal to tell anyone.
What this can and cannot do
It is worth being careful here. Person-activity fit is a helpful idea, but the research on it is still growing. Scientists have not settled on exactly which activities suit which kinds of people. “Introvert” and “extrovert” are also loose labels, and most of us are somewhere in between.
Sharing good news is not always easy, either. The research suggests that how others respond matters, so a flat or dismissive reply may not bring the same lift. That is not a reason to stop sharing. It is just a reason to share with people who are glad for you.
And none of these habits is a cure for loneliness, sadness, or depression. They are not a replacement for a doctor, therapist, or counselor. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone you trust or a professional.
Try it this week
Pick the version that sounds most like you, or try both and see which one you keep coming back to.
If you are more like Noah (quieter):
- Choose a calm time. Late at night or early in the morning, when no one needs anything from you.
- Write one or two small moments. A kind word, a good meal, a quiet walk. Short is fine.
- Keep it just for you. Knowing no one will read it can make it easier to be honest.
If you are more like Zara (social):
- Write it, then share it. Jot down one good thing, then tell a friend or family member about it.
- Pick a warm listener. Share with someone who usually seems happy for you.
- Return the favor. When a friend shares good news, show real interest. Ask a question about it.
The best habit is the one you will actually do.
Two friends, two ways
A few weeks later, Zara tried writing down one good thing before texting her friends about it. She said it helped her notice moments she would usually forget to mention. Noah, for his part, told Zara about the bakery man, and found that sharing it made him smile all over again. If you want a quiet place to start, NOTETYPE lets you write a thought and press “Make it real” to see doodles bloom around your words, all kept private on your device.
Sources
- Gable, S. L., Reis, H. T., Impett, E. A., & Asher, E. R. (2004). What do you do when things go right? The intrapersonal and interpersonal benefits of sharing positive events. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87(2), 228–245.
- Lyubomirsky, S., & Layous, K. (2013). How do simple positive activities increase well-being? Current Directions in Psychological Science, 22(1), 57–62.
